Sometimes is a word I build regularly into my vocabulary, for it allows quite easily for my all — sometimes I’m one way, sometimes I’m another, and sometimes I’m many ways at once.
Sometimes allows me freedom to be broad in nature, changeable, flowing not in one direction but in all directions. Sometimes frees me from believing that how I am is who I am.
Recently, I attempted to explore myself based upon a list of predetermined options. My mind was intrigued by this process, and I noticed it was eager to pinpoint the workings of my depths in this way. But when I attempted to adhere one of those options to me, the sometimes part of me felt coerced into being something I’m not always.
Awareness of this sometimes energy within me is powerful. It not only offers me a deep sense of freedom to change, but it also relieves me from a deep sense of fear that how I am in any moment is, concretely, how I am — because sometimes, how I am is not how I was or how I will be!
When I apply this lovingly to others, it helps me remember that they, too, are sometimes one way and sometimes another. It helps me let go of the sometimes they are challenging because I realise that sometimes, I am challenging, too!
I am sometimes Brilliant and other times I am not. I am sometimes nonreactive and other times I am deeply triggered. I am sometimes true to myself and other times I ignore my deepest knowings.
Too often, rather than befriending our opposites within, which would offer us balance in any now, we shame how we sometimes are, as if how we sometimes are has no room within us.
We become acutely aware of how we sometimes are — attached, even, to this idea that how we sometimes are is who we are. We try and fix how we sometimes are, reinforcing this belief that it is who we are.
If we hold, instead, the belief that we are sometimes many ways, then no one way overwhelms our sense of Self; rather, we break free from false hoods of illusion, allowing all ways that aren’t in alignment with our truth freedom to flow through us and not stick to us.
Focus not on how you are, focus on who you are deeply at your core. When this becomes the focus of your awareness, how you are comes more and more into alignment with who you are.
How we are is simply the level of Presence we have in any now. The more present we are, the more the Love that we are shines through.
With Love
Kirsty
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