I can’t believe it’s been 21 days since I first turned that shower head to cold on a freezing winter morning. I lasted a mere 15 seconds, all of which were spent in a state of shock!
I’m almost hesitant to admit how terrified I was to be in cold water, as if it was something to avoid at all costs. And I never questioned that fear. I guess I took it for granted that it was protecting me, but there’s a BIG difference between deep, intuitive fear and fear that is an illusion of the mind.
When I began to consciously observe my fear, witnessing from where it arose within me, I realised there was a shallowness to its presence despite the depth of its intensity; in other words, it was of the mind that often masks our truth.
With this newfound awareness, I realised I was gifted an opportunity to explore beyond the fear, and so I set myself a 21-day cold water immersion challenge, not realising the profound impact it would have in all areas of my life. And I think that’s been the biggest lesson — that seemingly small changes can offer enormous repercussions, so we want to be careful that we’re making changes in alignment with our truth.
How do we know? We witness how we feel, and that is all. Following my first experience in that 15-second shower, I felt AMAZING! I felt awake, alive, and so bloody relieved to be out! But the relief was more like an excited afterglow, and that afterglow felt like the brightening of my aura, as if a little more Light had been welcomed into my Being.
Of course, none of that was going through my mind at the time. I was still too present with the experience in my body to welcome an interpretation like that, and I guess that’s why more life force energy flooded my Being — I was open to receive the fullness of the moment I was in.
My experience was not in isolation; somehow my whole day resonated more Brilliantly, as if I had shifted into alignment simply by trusting in the guidance beyond the fear. As I said, seemingly insignificant choices can have enormous repercussions!
Here are some of the things I’ve experienced during this 21-day cycle, which has involved either a cold shower or a sea swim daily:
A sense of accomplishment every day. Every day I journey through this mini cycle of feeling fear; allowing it to be; witnessing how it can be used as a tool to fuel determination; aligning my actions not with my fear but with wisdom beyond my mind; breathing through discomfort; allowing discomfort to be OK; revelling in the challenge of doing something that shifts me beyond self-imposed boundaries of “normal”, breaking rules that are not belonging to my truth; being so united with the NOW because the NOW leaves no room for a wandering mind.
And then there’s the cycle within the mini cycle within the cycle — the cycle that belongs not to getting in to the cold, but to getting out.
How long can I simply be with the cold? And this is not based on time; rather, this is based on my perception of the moment. How long can I perceive the cold as merely an experience in this now and not as a defined, preconceived appreciation of the cold; in other words, how long can I be with what is without being clouded by a mind conditioned for a lifetime to believe that the cold is my enemy. I don’t time myself, for time is irrelevant in this cycle; rather, I observe ease within, and I’m curious about the prominence of ease every time I immerse myself in the cold —and we can experience ease even in times of dis-ease, so ease is not measuring how easy I find this experience!
Following this is the honouring of my readiness to depart the cold — the intuitive honouring of my limits. Not forcing more seconds or minutes just to beat another self-imposed “rule” but listening carefully to the messages my body’s gifting me in any now; becoming so aware of my senses that they merge into a mind of their own; allowing this mind to be the mind I pay heed to; witnessing how sometimes my fearful mind wants to dictate the terms of departure, imposing upon the wisdom available to me when I honour the senses of my truth.
Sometimes, my fearful mind “wins”, but that’s OK because it’s only “winning” an imaginary battle, and through breath, presence and allowance, my mind quickly learns that there is never a battle, there is never an enemy, and there is never, ever an experience to be an “expert” at …
𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒.
I have absolutely no intention of ceasing my exposure to the cold, so if you are curious about experiencing the afterglow and you'd like a little support or encouragement along the way, please feel free to connect. I am no expert but I can perhaps help you connect with the wisdom resonating at your core. And I mean this not in a professional sense, but in a Hey, I'm here if you want to let me know how you're going! kind of a way.
With Love Kirsty
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